Kaylas minnetale

Min aller kjæreste sjelevenn, Kayla, har skrevet et innlegg om meg i bloggen sin "this is my life" (finnes litt lenger til høyre).
Dette er minnetalen Kayla har skrevet til min begravelse:
(Oter = Me)


"My friend Oter is dead!

We are all here today to honor and remember Oter, the beautiful soul she was. I have known her since we were about 13-14-ish, and I feel lucky to have known her the way I did. This is a very sad moment for me, because my best friend -and soulmate is no longer with me. My heart and my body can feel the pain over the loss of such a kind and friendly human being. She was my one and only soulmate, there is no one like her in this world and I will never find a new bestfriend that I will love the way I loved my Oter.

Some will say that she was a strange girl, and I will not disagree. She liked vampires, good and bad vampires, she liked the unknown things out here in the universe and had a strong opinion about wether human beings are alone or not on the planet. That was one the many things we had in common. Looking back on our time together as teenagers in high school, I remember all the stuff we wrote together. Wether it was letters, e-mails, novels or even text messages. As a teenager, Oter was a rebellion. Much more than I was. She fought with her mother pretty often, she started to smoke -as me and at the end of high school; she dropped out. A lot of people would say that this was bad things, but I was pretty amazed because I knew her. Oter always knew what she was doing. And she had a pretty logical thinking going on in her head. She thought that if she did not make it at school, then why bother? Because she knew that when time was right, she would go back and finish. And she did!

For me, Oter was special. She was my special friend, and not in a dirty way. We were apart for so many years, but still we stayed in touch. Very often, some friends just slip away and one day, after a long time, you meet and find out that you no longer have anything in common. That was not Oter and I. For example, we could go weeks between phone calls or any connection at all, and when we finally talked again, nothing had change. And then we met maybe in summer or christmas, and everything suddenly was as it used to be. Even though we lived different lives at different places, nothing ever seemed to be changed between us as friends. I have experienced a lot of friends slipping away in the same way that Oter and I could do. But we never did. I trusted her. Our friendship was built on trust and respect for each other, whether we would become thieves or prostitutes. Once, when we were apart, I had to tell her something about myself that I really had trouble with. But Oter reacted so warm and was so calm, and I felt that everything would be alright as long as I had her by my side. I would, if I once had too, trusted her my life, because I know I always could count on her. She was that one friend that, without exceptions, not once demanded something I could not give. Because she knew me. She knew what I was capable to give and she would never ask for something else. On my behalf, I never asked for something impossible of her either, but I know if I ever had asked, she would try everything to make it happen. And for me, that is a true friendship.

Oter and I had a dream. A fairytale. A song to sing. We dreamed of our future together. The plan was to live as neighbors back in Halden. Then we could have a family each, but still see each other every day. It was a dream that never were fulfilled, but I hope I meet her again when my time is gone too.

We can sit here today and cry and weep because we are so sad and everything is so wrong. I can cry and complain because my soulmate no longer is beside me anymore. And I will probably do that today. But Oter would never wish for anyone of us to morn until death. I think that she is looking down on us right now and is thrilled that so many people came to this funeral and I will bet that she is shouting: Thank you! I know deep down in my heart that I will miss Oter every day and always feel that something is missing. But I will also think back and remember all the good times with my best friend and be happy for the happy memories. Without her, I would not have these memories.

I know that we have lost a totally awesome and caring friend, a giving daughter, a kind sister and a loving girlfriend, but we have to be strong. Hold on, hold on. I will be sad, that is given, but I will always thank God for our friendship and that He gave me the chance to know Oter. And I know that she loved me and that I truly was her soulmate and forever we will be.

Rest in peace, Oter. It is not a crime, it is a state of mind".