Norway

■+15°C / 59°F
This is as warm as it gets in Norway, so we'll start here. People in Spain wear winter-coats and gloves. The Norwegians are out in the sun, getting a tan.

■+10°C / 50°F
The French are trying in vain to start their central heating. The Norwegians plant flowers in their gardens.

■+5°C / 41°F
Italian cars won't start. The Norwegians are cruising in cabriolets.

■0°C / 32°F
Distilled water freezes. The water in the Oslo Fjord gets a little thicker.

■-5°C / 23°F
People in California almost freeze to death. The Norwegians have their final barbecue before winter.

■-10°C / 14°F
The Brits start the heat in their houses. The Norwegians start using long sleeves.

■-20°C / -4°F
The Aussies flee from Mallorca. The Norwegians end their Midsummer celebrations. Autumn is here!

■-30°C / -22°F
People in Greece die from the cold and disappear from the face of the earth. The Norwegians start drying their laundry indoors.

■-40°C / -40°F
Paris start cracking in the cold. The Norwegians stand in line at the hotdog stands.

■-50°C / -58°F
Polar bears start evacuating the North Pole. The Norwegian army postpones their winter survival training awaiting real winter weather.

■-70°C / -94°F
The false Santa moves south. The Norwegian army goes out on winter survival training.

■-183°C / -297.4°F
Microbes in food don't survive.
The Norwegian cows complain that the farmers' hands are cold.

■-273°C / -459.4°F
ALL atom-based movent halts.
The Norwegians start saying "Faen, it's cold outside today."

■-300°C / -508°F
Hell freezes over. Norway wins the Eurovision Song Contest.